An Introverts Place in the Church8 minute read
Being an introvert in the church can feel a bit out of place at times. It is not uncommon to walk into a church today and feel as if you are at a rock concert or college party. It is loud, chatty and can feel rambunctious at times. I am not saying this is necessarily a bad thing, but for an introvert, it can be overwhelming.
To put it into perspective, if the same things were going on at someones house on a Friday night, we probably wouldn’t go. But since it is church, we feel the obligation to fight through the discomfort.
We shouldn’t have to fight through the uncomfortable parts of church. Church should be an experience that leaves us fulfilled and ready to face the world. But how do you turn your church experience into a fulfilling one instead of one that checks your Sunday box? The answer is, find something meaningful for you to do.
Another way of saying it is, “Find your place in the church”.
So how do we find our place in the Church? Here are some pointers
Accept your Personality
The first step to finding your place as an introvert in the church, is to accept who you are and how you were created to function. Too many introverts feel they aren’t wired right and try to change their personality to fit what the people around them want.
That is an unhealthy road to take. It can lead to un-satisfaction, confusion and ultimately depression. There are desires in your heart that God put there. There are talents He gave you to use. Trying to be someone you are not, and not using what God gave you, is just going to make your Christian walk difficult and unfulfilling.
God didn’t make a mistake when he was creating you, so don’t try and fix what you think is broken. Once you reach a point were you accept who you are, you will feel like the world was lifted off your shoulders. You will grant yourself a bit more leeway in certain situations and forgive yourself a little quicker.
Don’t be afraid to Stand Up for Yourself
I wasn’t gonna add this point, but I feel it has to be said. Too often, decision makers in the church (and in everyday life) feel like they need to tell people what to do instead of asking if it is something they would be interested in volunteering for. When this happens, introverts in the church seem to be an easy target. We have a hard time saying “no” a lot of times and get stuck in responsibilities we aren’t best suited for.
Now, I don’t think most people seek out introverts and demand them to volunteer. That is not what I am saying. I don’t think some people are aware of what they are doing and they are simply filling a need in the church because it needs to be done. I believe they have the best intentions. But maybe don’t go about it the best way.
Anyways, with that being said, don’t be afraid to say no. It wont kill anyone. I promise. Simply tell the person that you don’t think you are the best fit for the job and move on. Maybe even take this opportunity to express your thoughts or desires of a need that you see you can fill.
Find Other Introverts in the Church
Chances are, you have quite a few people in your church that share your personality type or are very similar to you and your interests. Seek that person out and create a friendship. Yes. Accomplishing this involves talking to people you may not know. But I promise it is worth it.
Everyone needs someone they can talk to and bounce ideas off of. And it helps if that person also shares the same goals. As a team, you can feel that much more confident when starting a small group, leading an event and even doing visitations.
And as a side note, this person doesn’t have to be an introvert. It can be an extrovert that understands you and listens to you. The person just needs to be someone you mesh well with. It can be quite a combination when an introvert and extrovert team up.
Find a Place to Serve Using Your Gifts
If you are a child of God, he has given you a gift. He gave it to you so you could use it to help further his kingdom. Everyone’s gift or talent may be different. It is important to know your gift and use that knowledge to guide your decisions.
Introverts can hold any position in the Church. It doesn’t always have to be in the background. Introverts can be pastors, youth ministry leaders, deacons, play an instrument in the band and so much more. Don’t feel like your place in the church is behind the scenes just because your an introvert. But don’t be ashamed if being behind the scenes is what you are good at.
I recently took on the role of managing our churches website and teaming up with the assistant pastor to start a live stream. Technology is what I work with for a living and it is a talent of mine. So naturally, I had the desire to update our old website and be a part of the live stream production. I also believe shepherding is one of my spiritual gifts. So, I took that and helped start a youth ministry at our church along with the assistant pastor. I enjoy teaching and guiding teenagers into the correct paths in life. Starting a youth ministry is not easy. I would be lying if I said it was. But it is definitely fulfilling.
Be Part of the Change
This is something I have told a lot of people that I see complain about there church. “Be a part of the change“. Most people will sit back and see their church pull itself a part. Or, they will complain about their church not having certain functions or classes while doing nothing about it.
The way I see it, you have two choices. 1) Find another Church, or 2) Make that change yourself. And since every church has it’s flaws, chances of finding a perfect one is slim. After all, the church is made up of imperfect people.
So I’m going to talk about option 2.
I’ll use an example that I came across recently. There was an introvert expressing that their church didn’t have a class that catered to introverts in the church. They went on to say how the services didn’t offer any quiet time to reflect and meditate on what was being said.
I totally understand and can sympathize with what they were saying. So, I mentioned to that person, “Why not be the change you are looking for?”. Now I don’t know if that is what the person wanted to hear. And I hope they knew what I meant.
When you come across these situations, maybe think to yourself, “Is this why God put me in this church?”. Are you there to start a class or a small group? Maybe one that caters to introverts, or at least has moments of quiet reflection in it. After all, if you are the leader of that class, you control whether that happens or not, right?
The point here is, be bold and put yourself out there for God. You never know how far it will take you or how much God will bless you for it. After all, even though we are introverts, we are still called to preach the gospel. And maybe the way God wants you to do that is lead a small group or class.
Conclusion
As a human, we need to have a feeling of self-worth. We need to be productive and feel like we are fulfilling our purpose in this world. As a Christian, that self-worth is found through the will of God. He has a perfect plan for each of us and following through with that plan will allow us to gain true happiness and self-worth.
I hope this at least gets you started in the right direction. I just want to encourage you to find a way to be a contributing member of the body of Christ we call the church. Doing so will allow you to be rooted in your church and give you more purpose in life.
If you want to dive deeper in this topic, one of my favorite resources is a Book By Adam McHugh called “Introverts in the Church“. You can pick up a physical copy or find the audiobook here.
If you are feeling stuck as a Christian Introvert in the Church, and don’t feel like you are good enough, please read “What is the Perfect Christian?“.
After that, email me with any questions. Travis@ChristianIntrovert.com
Travis Haines
Husband | Father | IT Guy | Blogger | Author and Creator of ChristianIntrovert.com wanting to encourage those who question their abilities in Christ. Don't let your Introversion define who you are and don't use it as an excuse to shut yourself out from the world.